How I Stopped Saying ‘Ah’ and ‘Um’

I never thought I would say this, but I learned how to stop saying “Ah” and “Um” while waiting in line for a Subway sandwich.

Quick background: I’ve been public speaking for years. I was student body president in college, which required me to talk in front of student groups as well as the college’s Board of Trustees. Then I gave speeches throughout grad school on my way to earning an M.B.A. I even led large trainings in past jobs.

Through every public speaking experience, I tried to eliminate my troublesome stammer—with limited success.

Then one day, I was in line for a sandwich, and I realized my problem.

As I got to the Subway counter, the “sandwich artist” asked me for my order. I’m not a Subway virgin, so I have my order on lockdown: six-inch sweet onion chicken teriyaki on honey oat bread.

But my mouth failed me as I began my answer with a painful stammer: “Ahhh…umm….yeah, I’ll have a six-inch sweet onion chicken teriyaki…on honey oat bread.”

While ordering a sandwich—far away from any podium, PowerPoint, or microphone—my stammer still held power over me. I had no reason to be stressed or anxious in that Subway line. The stammer was a gut reaction, a programmed response.

In that moment, I realized my problem: “Ah” and “Um” were my “thinking words.” They were the words I said when I didn’t know what else to say…when my brain was in first gear and my mouth was in third gear.

My stammering wasn’t a public speaking problem. It was a gut reaction problem. It was a default word choice problem. It was a pre-programmed response problem.

I hypothesized that if I could overwrite my default response, I would instantly become more articulate. And that eloquence would carry over into the classroom and the boardroom.

I remembered the wise words of my friend Brandon from grad school. Brandon had been a TV sportscaster, and he was one of the few people I ever met who could talk for thirty minutes without uttering a single “Um.”

Brandon’s secret? Fill the pauses and dead spaces with silence, not with thinking words.

After my Subway experience, I set out on a mission to reprogram my default response. Every fast food line, Starbucks order, or question from a friend became a chance for me to respond with a brief pause of silence rather than filling the void with an “Ah” or “Um.”

The wild thing is that most of the heavy lifting to improve my speech came at home, not at work. It happened in the small moments of everyday conversation, and it wasn’t anything dramatic.

After a few months of practicing this new skill, I had virtually eliminated the filler words, and my hypothesis proved true: I had become a better public speaker. I could now speak to large crowds of people without stammering.

During one week at work, I gave three different trainings, and someone came up to me afterward to say they didn’t hear me stammer once in my trainings. I’m still a work in progress, but I’ve virtually eliminated those thinking words.

Sure, I still screw up sometimes. I still need to remind myself of the Subway line and my friend Brandon’s advice. But I’ve reprogrammed my default.

What’s your default response? Do you need to do a little reprogramming?